A Fatwa On Chris Matthews

D'ya think the overcaffeinated SOB has been hanging around Keith Olbermann at the NBC commisary just a tad too much lately? (h/t: MRC)

Appearing Wednesday night on NBC's Tonight Show, MSNBC's Chris Matthews suggested Republicans are like Iraqi factions, with a "fanatics" wing, and oozed over Barack and Michelle Obama, hailing them as "really cool. They are Jack and Jackie Kennedy," insisting it's a "spiritual experience" to attend an Obama rally. When asked by Jay Leno about the uncertain Republican primary forecast, Matthews argued: "They got their Shia wing, the fanatics. They've got Huckabee. This where I get into trouble. This is just where I get into trouble. Huckabee and Thompson are the Shiites." Matthews also went into a typical swoon for his favorite presidential candidate, Barack Obama: "If you're actually in the room when he gives one of his speeches, and you don't cry, you're not an American." Matthews could not help slipping into a sales job for Barack and his wife Michelle: "They're cool people. They are really cool. They are Jack and Jackie Kennedy when you see them together. They are cool. And they're great-looking, and they're cool and they're young, and they're -- everything seems to be great. I know I'm selling them now....But the fact is, I wouldn't be an honest reporter if I didn't tell you what the spiritual experience is like of being in a Barack Obama rally."

Actually, I believe I was the first one to dub Senator Obama "the ebony JFK".  Which was not intended as a compliment, I assure you, as Jack Kennedy was manifestly unqualified to be president and never got any better in the three years he spent in that office, yet rode a cult of personality the whole way that covered up his myriad flaws, both public and private.  Chickening out on the Bay of Pigs invasion - which led directly to the Cuban Missile Crisis - was all the proof necessary.  Obama is an even bigger naif, and would be a proportionately bigger disaster. Plus he wouldn't cut income tax rates like JFK did.

I'm sure Mrs. Clinton was paying attention to Matthews' embarrassingly gushing performance.  It'll be interesting to see the first interview she grants him after taking office next year.  To my knowledge I've never seen a man turned to stone on live, nationwide television.

When what he truly deserves is to be cleaved in two by a lightning bolt at Governor Huckadoodle's Mosaic direction.  If, you know, that aw-shucks feller was into vengeance, and stuff like that 'dere.

Conflating evangelical Christians with Islamist mass-murderers is old hat by this time (and, admittedly, Huckles leaves himself wide open for such slurs, which is what makes it so infuriating that he inevitably ends up dragging the rest of us along with him).  Ditto broadening the brush to Republicans in general.  But I think Matthews was losing himself in the odious metaphor, or perhaps he just has Iraq on the brain.  He equated "the more moderate guys" like McCain and Giuliani to Sunni Muslims, which is odd since they were just as bloodthirsty as the Shia.  Indeed, al Qaeda is Sunni, and they don't strike me as overflowing with "moderation."  And here I thoughtI thought Matthews LIKED McCain.

Oh, and he threw Mitt Romney in with the Kurds, which is, I guess, some sort of cryptic reference to the Mormon church.

But what baffles me is why Matthews lumped Fred Thompson into the "Shia" category with Huckabee.  I thought Fred was the guy who opposes a Marriage Amendment to the Constitution, and was a one-time "abortion lobbyist," just as Huckles, once out from behind his pulpit, is the John Edwards of the Republican Party.  Indeed, FDT has been giving it to Huck with both barrels for the past week.  Wasn't the "Iraqi civil war" supposed to be between Sunni and Shia?  Just how "civil" does the Hardballer think this metaphor can get?

I guess Matthews is still sore at the dressing down Fred gave him at that recent GOP debate.  Or maybe he just doesn't like being called "Christopher".

Is it too late to have that duel between Matthews and Zell Miller?  I bet the NRA would sponsor it, if it didn't end up on pay-per-view.