Can't Buy Him Love, Or A Debate Slot

Hey, look!  Ron Paul, aka Paul Revere If He'd Swallowed The Bottom Half Of His Face, raised two billion cents in the fourth quarter of 2007!

Texas Congressman Ron Paul's presidential campaign had a record fundraising quarter, exceeding its original goal of $12 million by over 50% when it raised nearly $20 million during the months of October, November and December.

"Only Dr. Paul has the ability to inspire Americans to contribute and take action that is necessary if Republicans want to defeat the Democrats in November," said campaign chairman Kent Snyder.

Yeah, and I'll bet a few bucks of that total actually came from Republicans, too.  Something that "Sailor" McCain must resent to no end, as the corner on facilitating the subversion of the GOP nominating process is supposed to belong to him.

Of course, the 21st century, shaved-down Yosemite Sam assumed that all this lucre shaken down from supporters as tetched in the head as he is entitled him to continued invitations to the interminable series of public relations rugby scrums known as Republican primary "debates."  When Fox News, which is running the next one, decided that a whopping 4% standing in national polls outweighed any amount of Internet rain-making in the determination of whether to include the GOP field's crazy old uncle for the other candidates to throw spitballs at, Ron and the Ronulans lived up to the legacy of that Looney Tunes legend:

ABC and Fox News Channel are narrowing the field of presidential candidates invited to debates this weekend just before the New Hampshire primary, in Fox's case infuriating supporters of Republican Representative Ron Paul.

Fox News says it has limited space in its studio, which leaves Paul out of a weekend debate....

Fox....has invited five GOP candidates to a forum with Chris Wallace scheduled for its mobile studio in New Hampshire on Sunday. Former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani, former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee, Senator John McCain of Arizona, former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney and former Senator Fred Thompson of Tennessee received invites, leaving Paul of Texas and Representative Duncan Hunter of California on the sidelines.

The network said it had limited space in its studio -- a souped-up bus -- and that it invited candidates who had received double-digit support in recent polls.

The Paul campaign's reaction proved the old adage of money not being able to buy happiness - or common sense:

Jesse Benton, Paul's spokesman, said it was a "big mistake" not to include Paul, especially given Paul's recent success in fundraising. He said the campaign has been trying to reach Fox News to get an explanation for the decision, but its calls had not been returned.

"There very well might be some bias," Benton said. "Ron brings up some topics that aren't very popular with Fox News, as in fiscal responsibility and withdrawing from the war in Iraq ... that does leave us scratching our heads a little bit about whether it was deliberate. Based on metrics, I don't see how you can possibly exclude Dr. Paul."

Some livid Paul supporters are distributing e-mails calling for a boycott of Fox advertisers.

The topics "Ron" brings up, and his stances on them, evidently aren't very popular with GOP primary voters, which explains why he's at 4% in the polls, which is why Fox didn't invite him to stand outside their "souped-up bus" in New Hampshire and pound on the door screaming indecipherable obscenities at them ("When ah says to let me in, aaaaaah mean LET ME IN!!!"), which is basically what Fox would tell his campaign if they returned its calls.  I would also imagine Fox figures that explanation is so self-evident that no such returned calls are warranted, and that they're not sweating the economic reprisals of 107,000 fools who've already been parted from their money to the tune of nearly two hundred bucks an empty head.

It does remind me, though, of the epiphany (vicarious, yes, but an epiphany nonetheless) I had a couple of months back about "Dr. Paul" (which sounds like "Dr. Phil" and makes me wonder if his wife is the same Mrs. Paul that markets fish sticks) being a natural "independent" candidate in the general election, which would make an intriguing addition of a right-wing Ameriphobic pacifist conspiracist alongside a left-wing touchy-feely faux centrist and an embittered vindictive ideological mercenary.  And they all claim to be Republicans!  Yet they'll all help put Hillary Clinton (back) in the White House.

Will there even be room for Ralph Nader in this asylum?  Or will he end up looking sane by comparison?