A Messiah Walks Into A Bar....

"Part of my job, I think, as president, is to make government cool again."

— Barack Obama, September 11, 2008.

"Cool"?  What about "gnarly," or "rad," or "totally awesome" or "da bomb"?  Take a look at most representatives and senators - or BO, for that matter.  Many adjectives will come to mind, but I guarantee you "cool" ain't one of them.

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From J-Ger:

Cost of Obama television advertising in Florida? $8 million.

Cost of McCain television advertising in Florida before last week? $0.

A McCain advantage in the Real Clear Politics Average in the Sunshine State reaching 6.3 percent? Priceless.

What I'm wondering is, with indications that blue, blue, bluer than blue, so-blue-they're-, er, black states New York and New Jersey are coming into play for McCain - which is to say, Obama's leads in both have diminished to the high single digits - will Barry really be daft enough to start spending his not-so-bottomless-after-all cash flow in states he isn't going to lose and let Lord Queeg pick off Minnesota and/or Michigan and/or Pennsylvania, which he darned well could?

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The latest "tough" attack ad from The Great Post-Partisan Unifier who said he wouldn't run any:

What does this ad say?  Basically, that Obama and his press buddies don't like McCain pointing out the truth about him and his record.  Coming from a guy that has smeared Maverick as a racist at least four times in as many months, suffered the freudian porcine cosmetics slip only a week ago, and has been whining about Sailor having the effrontery to actually contest this election since Independence Day, is this supposed to be persuasive?

How about Bill Burton getting "humina-humina-humina"'d by Fox News over St. Barack's ad ridiculing McCain's supposed lack of computer skills - and, oh by the way, his Vietnam War injuries: 

Is it any wonder that we love the Fair & Balanced network?  They're the only ones that do to the Dems what the Enemy Media is always doing to Republicans.  Only 'Pubbies never look this helplessly discombobulated.

But that's not the punchline - THIS is:

It was Obama’s turn to defend his campaign tactics when pressed by Cuomo today.

“It paints him as an old man. You say he can’t use a computer, he’s never sent an e-mail. What does that all mean?” Cuomo asked.

“What it means is that we’ve got a 21st century economy. And John McCain does not have a vision for how to move that forward,” Obama replied. …

Obama rejected suggestions that his campaign ad was a low blow.

“If we’re going to ask questions about, you know, who has been promulgating negative ads that are completely unrelated to the issues at hand, I think I win that contest pretty handily,” Obama said.

Anything you say, Barry, anything you say....

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Better get ready for a broken drumhead, because here comes Slow Joe....

What is the best reason for America to elect Barack Obama the next POTUS, according to Senator Rogaine?  BECAUSE HE's BLACK:

Democratic vice presidential candidate Joe Biden, campaigning in North Carolina where black votes could help swing the state to the Democrats, said today that electing a black person to the White House would be transformative.

Biden said the policies of running mate Barack Obama make his presidency even more urgent and declared this to be the most important election that any living person has seen in their lifetime. But he particularly singled out the meaning of electing someone who is black.

“That will be a transformative event in American politics and internationally,” Biden said. “That all by itself will be significant.”

Hmmm; almost makes you wonder if he felt the same way about Alan Keyes all the times HE's run for president.  Say, does that line remind anybody else of the late-'70s Saturday Night Live Bill Russell-Black Shadow skit?

What's Slow Joe's solution to the "financial meltdown" on Wall Street?  Let the Bush tax cuts expire, inflicting a massive tax increase on a "slumping" economy, and use that $130 billion to issue each American family a toaster!:

Does he not sound like a bank teller trying to persuade you to open a new account?  Or maybe a physician offering more of the disease as its own cure?  In any case, I don't eat toast, and my wife already has that particular appliance, so we'll just keep our nice Bush tax cuts, thank you very much.

Poor ol' Joe.  He knew the job was dangerous when he took it, but did anybody imagine it would get THIS bad?:

Someone should break the bad news to Senator Joe Biden: As a vice presidential candidate he’s doing far worse than Dan Quayle.

Biden has never run anything. Senators don’t. McCain hasn’t either, but he at least is certainly outside the Senate norm of being permanently protected from responsibility, because five years as a heroic, defiant and disgracefully tortured prisoner of war is probably the best inoculation anyone could have against the meaningless pomposity of the United States Senate. Obama already has picked up that contagious infection after only four years sitting there…

So far, Attack Dog Biden hasn’t managed to land even a friendly lick on John McCain’s face. While Palin flourishes amid the media’s most frenzied efforts to smear and destroy her, Biden shrivels under that far crueler death blow to any politician’s ego — amiable and polite forgetfulness. He is too ineffectual and peripheral to even warrant contempt.

Ouch.  But, hey, it's hard to draw any other conclusion after this late, breaking story:

Since the Delaware senator left Obama's side and ventured out on his own on Labor Day, he has hardly garnered any national media interest at all.

His plane, a blue chartered 737, now crosses the country with about three-quarters of its seats empty, rows and rows with nary a warm body to be found.

Biden's supporters maintain that he is connecting with voters and garnering positive media interest on a local level. They also say that Biden is a "governing" pick, not a "political" pick, unlike Palin. That is, Biden will actually be able to help Obama govern; he's not just a cynical selection to help his boss win the election.

Either way, as Air Joe flew from Wilmington to Charlotte Sunday, the only reporters onboard were off-air reporters from the five television networks and correspondents from NBC and Politico. There was only one camera crew. The back of the plane, reserved for press, sat totally deserted.

The New York Times? Gone. The Washington Post? Not seen since the first days of September. The otherwise ubiquitous Associated Press? Left even before that.

I suppose sometime around next April or May, I might be able to muster some degree of rudimentary sympathy for such pathos.  As it is, I'm laughing my ass off (I have little choice, since my gut is too big to double myself over).

Why is Hairplugs One reporterless?  Because the press evidently shares the Greasy One's chowder-headed candor from last week: he isn't qualified to be vice president.  The only thing he has "experience" at is being a corrupt, sticky-fingered goofball.  He's a liability to Obama that gets lost in the undeniable fact that Obama is an even bigger liability to himself.  Biden, in other words, can't even draw attention as a buffoon.

Ironically, it makes the upcoming veep debate intriguing.  We know what we're going to get from the "unknown" Sarah Palin; but Slow Joe?  There are so many gaffeing possibilities that he's an absolute grab bag of merriment just waiting to happen.  Or, since he's supposed to be Barry's "attack dog," perhaps he'll make a jerk of himself instead.

Or maybe he'll just stand there and be invisible.  Heck, to the press, he almost is already.

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Okay, I've beaten up on JB enough for one post - okay, strike that, he's a roaring skinflint as well, which reinforces the lib stereotype promulgated by Will Rogers that Democrats are generous with everybody's money but their own.  But his would-be boss is a tightwad even with his fellow jackasses:

Earlier this month, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid made a personal appeal to Barack Obama: Help me grow the Democrats’ Senate majority by sharing some of the $77 million you’ve got in the bank.

Obama’s campaign said no.

Although Democratic insiders say a better deal could still come, the Obama campaign so far has agreed only to let Senate Democrats use Obama’s name — as well as those of his wife and running mate — in mail and online fundraising pitches. The campaign has planned no joint fundraising events with House or Senate Democrats, and insiders say none is likely to be held before Election Day.

In rejecting a direct request from his Senate leader, Obama has put a fine point on the financial pressures he’s feeling as the presidential race turns toward the fall.

How, well, rich is this?  The guy who thinks Americans are all too selfish yet won't lift a finger to help his own half-brother refusing to share a plug nickel from his own gargantuan warchest with his own party because his own arrogance and greed duped him into financially short-sheeting his own fundraising bed.

It's not as though the Dems, even with their unexpected fundraising shortfalls vis-a-vie their Republican counterparts, are going to gain any fewer than four Senate seats (though the House might be a very different story), so not getting any of Barry's boodle probably won't matter that much.  But it's something Dirty Harry will file away for future exploitation should the junior senator from Illinois still be on Capitol Hilll come this January.

Anybody else who's reminded of all the episodes of the Andy Griffith Show where Barney Fife indulged his penchant for bug-eyed righteous indignation, go ahead and giggle.  That mental image even got past my iron Vulcanesque discipline.

UPDATE: Sorry, folks, but he just won't stop:

Oh, yeah?!  You and what army?!  And your mother wears combat boots!  And, and, and...and you suck, too!

Quips Newsbusters:

The woman introducing Joe Biden to a Michigan crowd yesterday called Sarah Palin a "bucket of fluff."   Biden then told the crowd that Barack Obama is too smart and too well-educated to live in a Republican neighborhood. 

Now that the Dems have put Obama's smarts and education on the table, will the MSM demand Obama finally release his Columbia transcript? Of all the people the Dems might have chosen to raise the issue, Joe Biden?  He who publicly claimed to have finished in the top half of his Syracuse law school class . . . when in fact he was 76th in a class of 85, plagiarizing a paper there along the way?

And you wonder why there's a "dump Biden" movement gestating in Nutterville?