Woman Drivers
This morning on the Interstate, I looked over to my left and there was a Woman
In a brand new Cadillac
Doing 65 mph
With her Face up next to her rear view mirror
Putting on her eyeliner.
I looked away for a couple seconds !
And when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane,
Still working on that makeup.
As a man, I don't scare easily.
But she scared me so much I dropped
My electric shaver
Which knocked the donut out of my other hand.
In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car
Using my knees against the steering wheel
It knocked my cell phone away from my ear
Which fell into the coffee between my legs
Which splashed and burned Big Jim and the Twins,
Ruined the damn phone,
Soaked my trousers,
And disconnected an important call.
Damn women drivers
h/t: Uncle
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