Because Karnak Couldn't Make It

Via J-Ger, we present the following exercise in extreme vertigo:

Joe Biden, a few days ago in Milwaukee: “There’s no possibility to restore eight million jobs lost in the Great Recession.”

A day or two later, in Indiana: “I can promise you that it’s going to be okay. Indiana is coming back. The nation is coming back.”

Except for Wisconsin, evidently.  "Heckuva job there, Fussy Russy!"

And now: 

Proving that politicians will promise anything in an election year, Vice President Biden told a Cleveland audience today that NBA superstar LeBron James will remain with the hometown Cavaliers.

The comment came at a fundraiser the veep attended on behalf of Lieutenant Governor Lee Fisher, who is running for the open U.S. Senate seat in Ohio.

“LeBron James is coming back and Lee is going to Washington,” he said, according to a pool report from the event.

 This would be the part where Rogaine threw up from the motion sickness.  The audience was either scratching their heads in hopeless confusion, rolling their eyes 180 degrees like the Undertaker, or calling 911 for the guys in the white coats and butterfly nets.

Seriously, was it that nobody else wanted to ride shotgun with Captain Charisma or did every other Democrat just happen to have a four-year "prior commitment"?