National Lampoon's American Presidency

Now, now, let's be "fair" about this: Clark Griswold might have had to justify his determination to go to Wallyworld via mishap-laden cross-country drive in the Family Truckster instead of flying there like anybody else would have, but nobody ever required him to provide credible explanations for taking a vacation at all.

'couse, Clark only took one vacation at a time.  But then, he doesn't bear the unparalleled burdens carried around by a god - and HE gets to drive to MarthaWorld in Family Truckster One:

President Barack Obama is heeding his own advice to American vacationers, taking his family to the Gulf Coast this weekend to help the sagging tourism industry. The president will arrive Saturday and spend just over twenty-four hours in the Panama City, Florida, area, a quick jaunt in contrast to the family's upcoming ten-day vacation to Martha's Vineyard, known as a destination for the wealthy and privileged.

White House officials dismiss questions about the length of the family's stay, saying that has no relation to the president's commitment to the region's recovery.

"The president is deeply committed to the folks in the Gulf region," said White House spokesman Bill Burton. He said Obama wants to ensure the people of the Gulf Coast are "made whole again after what was a terrible catastrophe."

Obama's been promoting the idea of Gulf travel as a way for Americans to help the region's recovery. The White House says the Obamas and daughter Sasha (her sister Malia's at summer camp) plan to spend much of their time in the Gulf enjoying the area's recreational activities.

Sure, you're probably laughing yourself sick at The One proclaiming a "commitment to recovery" of a region his anti-energy policies have done more than anything else to cripple, in tandem with his cruel obstruction (or, if you're of a charitable bent, bumbling incompetence) of state and local efforts to "plug the damn hole" and beat back Armus.  But belatedly learning how to raise the seas, lower the oceans, and part the New Black Sea for real is a heckuva lotta work.  How up & at 'em did Yoda look after levitating Luke's X-wing fighter out of the Dagobah swamp?  Heck, how up & at 'em did Yoda EVER look until he went into CGI Jedi master ass-kicking mode?

And that's just the tip of the ol' iceberg:

Early in his administration, Mr. Obama also assigned the “top priority” label to his campaign promise to overhaul America’s health care system. But a check of his speeches since taking office, reflect a bevy of other “top priorities:”

FREE TRADE AGREEMENTS: “…that’s something that’s going to be a top priority.” (4/27/10)

ENERGY SECURITY: “And that’s why my energy security plan has been one of the top priorities of my Administration since the day I took office.” (4/28/10)

EDUCATION REFORM: “To train our workers for the jobs of tomorrow, we’ve made education reform a top priority in this administration.” (2/24/10)

STUDENT LOAN REFORM: “This is something that I’ve mad a top priority.” (2/1/10)

EXPORTS BY SMALL BUSINESSES: “This is going to be a top priority.” (12/3/09)

A baker's dozen of them altogether.  Clearly something that only a god can do, as, mere mortal that I am, I can't begin to get my mind around how somebody can have thirteen different yet entirely co-equal "top priorities".  It'd seem to almost require omnipresence, and at least a dollop each of omniscience and omnipotence as well.  And again, even God Himself rested on the seventh day.

'couse, that passage in Genesis 1 doesn't say that the LORD took two days vacation for every one day of Creation.  It also presupposes that Red Barry gave a rat's ass about any of those "top priorities" (besides, I think we know what his top priority REALLY was, don't you?)  But He doesn't answer to us, any more than The One does, right?

Right:

This perfectly captures the Obama White House’s attitude toward disclosure. Sure, the administration publish the names of all White House visitors, but, as the New York Times reported a few weeks back, White House folks just meet their lobbyists at Caribou Coffee across the street. Sure, they restrict the work of ex-lobbyists in the administration, but lobbyists who de-list aren’t questioned.

And we’ve seen just a few of the e-mails former Google lobbyist, now Obama tech policy guru, Andrew McLaughlin traded with current Google lobbyists using his Gmail account, but who knows what else the White House whiz kids are doing to avoid the Presidential Records Act — Facebook messages? Twitter direct messages? …

The Sunlight Foundation is also concerned about the fact the White House no longer has anyone whose job is transparency, as Eisen’s job was. John Wonderlich, at SunlightFoundation.com, lists a few transparency promises on which the president hasn’t followed through, including earmark transparency, a single Web site (Ethics.gov) with all ethics and accountability information, and better lobbying disclosure, among others.

Lucifer's idea of "transparency" was to create more opacity behind the hollow PR storefront position of "transparancy czar".  Now he's abolishing the hollow storefront but retaining the opacity and adding to it by reallocating "transparency" duties to a man who is not only an avowed enemy of public accountability but whose job has a stipulated history of obstruction of openness, and sometimes even justice:

On his blog, [White House chief counsel, Robert] Bauer derided the notion “that politicians and parties are pictured as forever trying to get away with something,” saying this was an idea for which “there is a market, its product cheaply manufactured and cheaply sold.” In other words — we keep too close an eye on our leaders.

In August 2006 Bauer blogged, “disclosure is a mostly unquestioned virtue deserving to be questioned.” This is the man the White House has put in charge of making this the most open White House ever.

Most telling might have been Bauer’s statements about proposed regulations of 527 organizations: “If it’s not done with 527 activity as we have seen, it will be done in other ways,” he told the Senate rules committee.

“There are other directions, to be sure, that people are actively considering as we speak. Without tipping my hand or those of others who are professionally creative, the money will find an outlet.”

Ensign Ed makes the obligatory observation of the media eruption if any Republican administration had pulled a stunt like this.  The press won't even blink Red Barry's case because they're too busy marveling at the brilliance, the sheer superduper AWESOMENESS of the Brainiacal mental heavy-lifting it took to twist the concept of transparency into an undisentangleable pretzel that will only ensare Republicans and leave False Messiah free to save Da Peepul from ourselves.

That's no "part-time job with flex scheduling"; that's downright miraculous.

My only regret is that after his three days of Gulf slumming, his sojourn to "flood-ravaged, plague-sick Martha's Vineyard" isn't permanent.

It's the best thing he could really do for the Gulf - and the rest of the country as well.