Senator Herpes

"Well, what am I supposed to do? You won't answer my calls, you change your number. I mean, I'm not gonna be ignored, [Alaska]!"

~  ~  ~

"Why, [Murk]? Why do you do it? Why get up? Why keep fighting? Do you believe you're fighting for something? For more than your survival? Can you tell me what it is? Do you even know? Is it freedom? Or truth? Perhaps [pork]? Yes? No? Could it be for [Papa Murk]? Illusions, [Murk]. Vagaries of perception. The temporary constructs of a feeble [RINO] intellect trying desperately to justify an [incumbency] that is without meaning or purpose. And all of them as artificial as [your write-in campaign's justification] itself, although only a [RINO] mind could invent something as insipid as [nepotism]. You must be able to see it, [Murk]. You must know it by now. You can't win. It's pointless to keep fighting. Why, [Murk]? Why? Why do you persist?"

"Because [Alaska needs me]."

~  ~  ~

She's a coupla sled dogs short of an Iditerod, folks:

Y'know, I could have sworn it wasn't that many days ago that she seemed to remember that primary elections in Alaska are closed.  Now she's actually lamenting that they're not open so a bunch of Donk crossovers could have subverted the Republican senatorial primary and goosed her sorry ass to renomination.  Evidently she's trying REALLY, REALLY hard to forget that she had not the slightest problem with her state's closed primary system until her lazy, complacent, clueless re-election campaign got caught flat-footed at the finish line like the proverbial hare lost to the tortoise.  So belated is her Cristian conversion to "independence," that she has no idea who any of these supposed "Alaskans" are who will lose their will to live if her skirt isn't squatting in the the U.S. Senate for another six years.

~  ~  ~

Alaska voter: You.

Murk: Yes, me.

[turns voter into another Murk]

Murk: Me... me... me...

Murk clone: Me too. 

~  ~  ~

Utterly, totally, completely off her caribou:

U.S. Senator Lisa Murkowski says she feels as if Republican leaders have turned their backs on her as she mounts a write-in bid to try to hold onto her seat.

Alaska's senior senator told the Associated Press in an interview Monday that the focus in Washington seems to have become more about "adding numbers to the team" and less about the quality of the candidate.

If you had told me yesterday that somebody was going to utter this quote today, I'd have guaranteed it was Christine O'Donnell.  See why I call these two crazy broads the Thelma & Louise of the GOP?  They are each what the other claims to stand adamantly against, yet they're literally two sides of the same coin.  Sisters under the skin.  One a professional incumbent and the other a professional candidate, both possessed by a very un-"true conservative" entitlement mentality, and both willing to tear down the Republican Party if they don't get what they want.

Exit quote from James Taranto:

Princess Lisa

Maybe it's time to reconsider Take Your Daughter to Work Day. Frank

Murkowski, Alaska's former senator and governor, took little Lisa to work in 2002, and now she refuses to go home. Shortly after taking office as governor, Mr. Murkowski appointed Miss Murkowski to the Senate seat he had just vacated. She was elected in her own right in 2004, but this year Alaska Republicans decided it was time for a new direction and handed her a primary defeat.

Well, listen up, Alaska voters: You didn't put Miss Murkowski in the Senate, and she'll be damned if she's going to let you throw her out. On Friday she announced that she intends to run a write-in candidacy. (If you want to write her in, her name is spelled M-I-L-L-E-R.)

~  ~  ~

"Oh, no no no no... no, it's not fair!"

UPDATE: Was that last Agent Smith line precient or what?